EDITOR’S NOTE: MedusaMinded’s original writing can be found here, and I’d be grateful if you clicked ‘Love’ on it. The writing below has been edited for minor grammar and descriptors.
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So, this writing is WAY overdue.
Until last year Guardian and I had never been to a play party. We are a monogamous couple and having played mostly at home and not being much of exhibitionists we didn’t really see the point of play parties. We finally went to our first party at RKS (Rochester Kink Society in New York State) in the spring of last year and it was a HUGE eye opener. We’ve been to about three or four play parties since then and the following is my, and some of his, cumulative experiences thus far.
Freedom
My feeling at play parties is a great sense of freedom. I had never before been in a space dedicated purely to kink. It was a world opening up to know I was free to be my kinky self without any sense of shame or self-consciousness. I could be myself as a masochist, wearing my marks openly, enjoying my pain deeply, fully, and visibly being kinky. There was no worry about neighbors hearing, a vanilla seeing something, or an awkward comment being made.
The space also gave Guardian the freedom to swing – to hit and not necessarily worry about hitting the ceiling fan, the couch, or the wall. The apartment we live in simply isn’t all that well suited to the activities we like to do sometimes. At RKS there is the space to do so, to let down, loosen up and GO!
Furniture
I had my own love affair with the Saint Andrew’s cross I was tied to at my first party. It gave me an immense sense of security to know I could lean, tug, hold on to, and become rampant without worrying I would be breaking the furniture. The wood and metal were there for me in a very comforting and wonderful way.
Since then we’ve slowly started to try out some of the other kink furniture in the dungeon and damn do we wish there was room for it at home! Using the kink specific furniture is a big draw for us! We just can’t do some things at home like we can in that space.
Body Image
It was wonderful to be in a room of people who just let it out, who embraced their sexy selves and enjoyed it. I was somewhat shocked to realize how nervous I was about showing my body and that some of it was a deteriorated body image. In the play space my shyness melted away thanks to the beautiful people around me. Bodies are bodies. Why worry? The undertone of self-love was great.
I continue to have that reminder every time I go to a party and I really enjoy it as much as anything else.
Inspiration
Seeing other people play is awesome. It’s very interesting to see what techniques they use, the energy flow, everything. ‘What is THAT thing?’ ‘I want that carrying case.’ ‘Can we make that?’ ‘CAN WE DO THAT PLEASE?!’ ‘Pillow fight tomorrow?’ Every time we’ve been to a party Guardian and I have seen something interesting and occasionally try it out ourselves if it’s within our means/limits. Being in a room filled with kink happening is fantastic.
Being Watched
To be honest I haven’t noticed much when people watch. Then again, I’ve usually been hooded, facing away from people, and I almost always close my eyes when sceneing be it at home or in a play space. On top of that I have bad vision and can’t see much of anything without my glasses in low lighting. Guardian says he hasn’t noticed much either. We’re both in the headspace and very little exists outside of it.
Primarily this has to do with people understanding the etiquette that you should watch from a respectful distance and any commentary should be done quietly.
More than anything, I tend to notice sound. I enjoy the music because we don’t play with it at home (we have a vastly different taste in what gets each of us in the mood). Guardian’s commentary on music is that he pays even more attention to my visual cues because it is harder for him to hear my audio cues. The only time I was overly distracted during a scene was because we played in a high traffic, naturally noisier, area and I just wasn’t really connecting that night anyway.
Lastly
I’ve been ‘high’ as fuck at parties because of all of the above. I can fall deeper in the kink headspace and scene harder than I might at home since I leave more of my inhibitions at the door. It took me a few times to realize that! At home the ritual is a bit different and I come back from my headspace much faster and so learning the exact details of what I need in aftercare (untying myself as much as I can, my fuzzy blanket, and cheap-o donuts from that gas station, etc.) has been eye opening.
Guardian and I also put more thought into the scenes we want to do. At home we pretty much just free style unless either of us in a specific mood. With parties we plan! What do we want to try or get into that we can’t at home? Let’s do it!
Anyhoo, that’s my thought on parties thus far. We can’t always get out to RKS but the experiences have been really cool and play parties are something we look forward to!
I’m hoping to finally go out and try a PEP (People Exchanging Power) party this spring or summer and get to Canada (the whole ‘I need to go get myself a damn passport already!’) within the year.
